The Truth about the Terrible Twos

Hmmm. I'm been letting this post simmer in my head for a week or so. 

Letting terrible two horror stories pile up.

Where to start???

Well why don't I just dive on in and give you a prime example in the form of a photo?

Here lies my terrible (yet somehow irresistible) two.....

"I'm not in the mood"

If you asked Lil Red she'd probably tell you that life's been pretty tough lately. Well at least that's what you'd think after spending a few hours of an evening with her. Don't get me wrong, she has her giddy, happy, overjoyed moments.....BUT those are few and very far between these days. I sit and wonder why I feel like we've been blindsided by this sudden change. How on earth can a couple of innocent parents be blindsided by a phase that has a very well-known name....the terrible twos....people talk about it....but they don't really talk about it talk about it. Ya know what I mean? So that's just what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna talk about it like nobody's talked about it before. And my hope of hopes is that someday Hallie Grace will be sitting in her own home reading this while her pretty little child is screaming so loudly that it makes it difficult to process the words she is reading.. That's my hope. (cue evil mommy laugh)

Let's start with bedtime. Nobody told me that the terrible twos extended into all facets of a daily routine. Nobody told me that each portion of our day would turn into a circus. And I'm certain that nobody told me how difficult putting a two-year-old to bed would be. What do you get when you add these things together?.... A pushover mom + a red-headed monster + an endless amount of new stalling techniques. I've been dying to share these horrendously frustrating stories with you but haven't had time of an evening due to these marathon bedtime routines that keep dragging out longer and longer. The root of the problem is this: she has more to say and can say it well. Her expanding vocabulary means she is able to tell me EXACTLY what she wants. Here's a sneak peak into an average 9:00 bedtime......I snatch her up from her reading chair, we say goodnight to Dora, give kisses to dada, snuggle up next to Dora, tell me those words I love to hear as I slowly tiptoe out the door. Next comes the waiting. I continue tiptoe-ing down the hallway and count my steps.....eight...nine....te....."MOMMA!!!! MOMMA!!!! MOO!!!" Ok, wait. Didn't we just do all that training and weaning from a cup at night during potty training???? And wasn't that part super easy???? So what happened? I don't remember anything changing. Why this sudden desire for a midnight moo????I I guess I'll never know. What this momma does know is that moo rots teeth when it hangs out on those baby gums all night. So I sneak back into her room and hand her a couple ounces of water. Holy devastation. I close the door. We sit in shock for five minutes listening to the screams. And then all of a sudden we hear a tiny, small, sweet voice through the screams say "momma? Cracka." Oh reeeeeaaaaalllllly???? We let her cry it out for thirty minutes the first night she started this circus routine. Turns out that the crying never went out. It just kept going.

Hallie - 1

Mom & Dad - 0

I guess I'm sort of going backwards but let's move on from bedtime to dinner time. Here's a short summary of a typical dinner scene in our household. She runs around the house pointing to her tummy and hollering "food momma, food!!!" The drama begins once she's up in her highchair with a lovely plate of food in front of her. An array of colors, types and flavors are within her reach. And that's precisely when she wants a cookie. If we place a requested glass of milk in front of her she usually responds with a giddy smile and ten seconds later we might we cleaning it up off the floor. This is what happened one night this week. I have a story about that night.....

It began with that toot helping soak up the mess until she decided that she needed to go pretend to pee. She's a sharp little one, I'm tellin' ya. So we left Riley to finish clean-up. Hallie and I ran to the bathroom and didn't bother turning the light on. I sat her down in the toilet. Plop. Right into the bowl. Wet little legs and all. OOPS! 

Did you know that the simple act of giving a two-year-old a pink spoon is life changing? Well in our house it is. And did you know that telling a two-year-old to please take your pair of red high heels off so that you can leave the house is unforgivable? Yes, you guessed it. In our house it is.....

Let's forget for a moment that she was screaming in these pictures. I would like to brighten up this post with the fact that she rocked those heels like no other two-year-old I've ever seen. Not only did she put them on all by herself but she stood up and walked all around the house in them. Talk about a proud momma! ;) She even suggested we go pick out a bow to finish off her ensemble.

Hey, here's another question. Did you know that riding in a stroller is considered torture in the minds of some? Some being this little one right here.....

"I'm running away."

Oh heavens. How dare I put her in that baby device to take a nice leisurely stroll around the block with the dog. We took the stroller. But instead of hauling her in it I herded her to stay along the side of the road while I walked the dog and pushed the empty stroller. Awesome.

"What's the big deal?"

Oh I see. Two-year-olds think they are in charge. I get it now. They can brush their own teeth, prepare their own food, bathe themselves and WALK THEIR DOGS. Of course, how could I have been so foolish. Here's a rare content picture of the Hal Gal. 

"Are you saying that you doubt me?!"

Or wait. Maybe she thinks that she IS a dog. Yes, yes...that's it.

I kid you not. This child thinks she is a dog. And being a dog is one of her favorite things to do. I guess it doesn't help that we've given her a doggy name and lure her with "treats" and order her to do tricks as she pretend pants and shakes our hands. You can't make this stuff up people. Moving on........why don't we talk about her desire to dress herself. I'm afraid that she has her dad's eye for fashion and matching. :(

A very tired and mis-matched bedtime baby

Hey, here's another doozy for ya....did you know that turning on Dora instead of Mickey Mouse is considered a sin in some cultures??? Huh, huh?! Did you know that!?!?! And while we're on the subject, did you know that it's not okay to enter her playhouse without permission?? We find these things out the hard way.

You wanna know something really cool though? Once in awhile....every now and then....once in a blue moon...if we pray hard enough....SHE IS A VERY HAPPY, SWEET, LOVING, CARING and SMILEY big girl. Here's proof......

But until we move on out of this phase I can guarantee you that this is what ALL three of us will continue to look like....

Gman's Another Year Cooler

That little red-headed stinker up above was pretty excited for our trip to Enid a couple of weekends ago to celebrate Gman's birthday. Man, I'm way behind. These days are flying by and we are just holding on for dear life trying to keep from getting swept away. So here goes...my Gman birthday story must be told before I forget it!

I was thrilled to be able to spend his actual birthDAY with him. What made it even better was the surprise we had for him. Bailey and I had whipped together a very last minute plan to invite some of our Enid family and his best friend, BC, and his wife over for a mexican feast. All responded with an enthusiastic "YES" so we were all set. I picked up another masterpiece from The Cake Lady, did some major grocery shopping and we loaded up the car Sunday afternoon and headed to party town. Dad was having some pretty severe back pain when we arrived so he stayed put in the recliner for awhile while we made ourselves busy in the kitchen. Bailey was in charge of tacos and rice while I prepared chicken and beef enchiladas and beef queso dip. Dara pitched in and was our handy helper in between playing with Hal who was oh so excited to see everyone....

Gman felt a little better and was up and going after a bit. This made Lil Red happy....

What didn't make Lil Red happy, though, was the fact that she had forgotten to take a nap during our car ride like we'd "talked" about......

Believe it or not (I still can't believe it) she requested to take a nap. Yes, I would not lie about such a thing as this. I'm still scratching my head over that one. But nap she did....granted it was only an hour long nap but it did the job. By the time she woke up we had finished preparing a mexican feast for 12 and Riley had arrived along with Spencer, David, Lisa, Lana, Danny, BC and Deann. Dad was reclining in his chair as his surprise guests began to arrive. Never did he question the massive amount of food we were cooking up in the kitchen. He claims that he hadn't paid attention and therefore had no clue that others would be joining us. Plan was a success. He smiled as each person walked in. We dug right into the food and it was pretty much all gone by the time everyone had filled their bellies. Way to go, sis! We make a great team!

Hallie must've wanted second helpings because she did a lot of this....

"Do I look like a one-helping kinda gal?!?!"

We got rave reviews on the feast and our biggest fan ended up being the smallest one....

"Now that we're on the same page...."

After dinner we dug into the cake. Another Harley cake again this year....

And then he opened up his cards and gifts....

Showing off his new rag for his upcoming bike trip

He's a young 54 this year. But he doesn't look a day over 30!!! How can you not love this guy?!?!

I just about died laughing watching Hallie pose on his lap with the cake in front of her. Check out that look on her mug. You can just imagine what she's thinking.....

"I wonder if they'd notice if I grab a big handful???"

We're lucky to have such a wonderful man in our lives to look up to.....

And we can't forget this guy! He's a pretty awesome fella too....

Here are a few memorable snapshots from our evening of fun....

Ahhh, now how cute is that!?!?!

Showing the love!

The dog whisperer turned dog feeder ;)

Watching her makes me wish I was a kid again

The tables turned ;)

Lisa, Lana and Deann did some quick cleaning and the kitchen was back to normal in no time at all. For that I was more than thankful! Now you know it wouldn't be a Livin' on Hallie Time post without a group pic!! Duh! Dad insisted on taking a group picture of all of us without him in it. Funny guy.

The rest of the night was spent in the backyard just bein' silly....

"Peek-a-boo!"

The sandbox got some good use as Dara and Hal did some digging. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw Hallie imitating Dara's every move as she piled the sand up on the buckets. Hal followed suit. If you haven't heard me mention it before, these two are two crazy peas in a pod.

See what I mean?!

Teaching her the famous "Dara dance"

"Do that one more time so I can learn...."

Those eyes!

Gman popped in to see what was going on

Continuing their bonding-fest

The grown-ups enjoyed the time to chat and catch up while Hallie used her time to practice her balance beam skills on the railroad ties surrounding the garden....

"focus....focus....focus"

The canines even had a lovely evening chatting it up

I couldn't help but snap a pic of this beauty that had bloomed for dad's birthday....

I wish we could've done even more to show him how special he is to us! I don't know how I got so lucky in the dad pool but I sure am grateful to have such a loving, funny, generous, goofy, thoughtful, detailed, laid-back, good ol' boy kinda DAD. Oh yeah, and I hear he's a pretty awesome grandpa too. This little one told me so.......

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY GMAN!!!!!!"