As I longingly look back on the last 12 weeks of Hallie's precious life, I can't help but feel an overwhelming amount of contentment, pride, and thankfulness. I am content with everything in my life right at this moment (not sure when I could ever say that). I am proud of my husband for being such an awesome father. I am thankful for God's blessings that he gives us each day through watching Hallie grow and learn. Thanks for bearing with me as I shared a lot of information, probably too much, on this blog. I wait in anticipation for the day my daughter finds it interesting to look back and see her first months of life unveiled right before her eyes. Gone are the days of never-ending blogs, detailed descriptions of our days at home together as I transition into the life of a working mom. Eh, the sound of that makes me cringe with fear. It's time though, and I've had my chance to get to know my girl and spoil her with lots of love all day long. Hallie girl, here are some things I am going to miss about the days we spent together:
- Your smile when you wake up from each nap
- Our daily walks with Emmi
- Cuddling with you on the couch in the afternoon
- Rocking on the back porch in the morning
- Taking your picture everytime you do something new or cute
- Being in our own little world together with no deadlines or time limits
- Staying in our jammies all day (on occasion ;))
- Sending daddy phone pics of your cute little face throughout the day
- Being able to cook dinner every night
- Having time to blog
- The sound of you screaming every morning when we return from our walk while I make my smoothie (you had impecable timing)
- You falling asleep on my lap while watching Ellen (I guess you aren't a fan)
- You laughing at me while I sing to you during diaper changes
- I will even miss your stubborn days when you refuse to take a nap ;)
- Watching you sleep and spit bubbles
My fears about going back to work:
- Did I forget how to do my job?
- Can I handle the extra added responsibilities at home along with the stress my job sometimes brings?
- Missing Hallie's big milestones (rolling, sitting for the first time)
- I dread the day Hallie doesn't want to leave daycare and cries because she has to go home with me
- Can I be a good wife and mom at the same time?
- Can I really function on limited sleep for the next 18 years?
- When the heck will I go to the grocery store, workout or cook dinner?
- Will I drive the babysitter crazy by calling ten times a day?
Although I am a bonified control freak, I know it is impossible to control every thing in life. I've learned over the last 12 weeks that being a parent is both the most challenging and most rewarding job out there. I've heard it a thousand times but you can't fully understand it until you experience it. For each stressful day or trying time, there is always a hilarious or precious moment right around the corner to make it all worth it.
From the first moment I saw you, I fell in love...
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And I'm pretty sure that applies to your daddy too...
Well technically this is the first time we saw you...
But daddy thought you looked like a smiling alien then so that really doesn't count. :/
Hallie girl, you have brought so much joy to everyone around you. Having you as my daughter has exceeded all expectations that I had of being a parent. You are 12 weeks old today. As I type this, you are laying on my lap in your Boppy pillow as you take breaks from resting your eyes to look up and smile at me and coo. Your hair is definitely a darker shade of red today and you have a face full of little scratches from searching for your thumb in the dark at night. You certainly smell like those nasty Vitamin D drops that I just gave you...YUCK! But there is always that wonderful hint of baby shampoo to mask the smell. Your body is filling out and your sweet little cheeks get droopier by the day. Your vocabulary is expanding daily and you have added the typical baby sounds "goo" and "ga" recently. Probably the cutest thing I've ever heard. You haven't got the hang of rolling yet. You can make it to your side, but you aren't sure where to go from there so you just fall back. You will get there soon enough! I am fairly sure that you are the only baby in the world who does not nap. I hope the babysitter is ready for you. You are beginning to get longer because all of a sudden your belly area looks a lot slimmer....and trust me, I know it's not because you aren't eating enough. You are a pro in that arena. Your favorite place to sleep now is your crib and you like to wake up in the morning and suck your thumb for awhile. Mommy is listening on the other side of the monitor just waiting for you to cry. But you are happily content chewing on your fingers. Daddy still feeds you a bottle at night before bed, but get ready little girl....you will be getting bottles ALL DAY now. I just hope I can keep up with your appetite. ;) You are sitting up in your Bumbo twice a day now...while mommy cooks dinner and while mom and dad eat. You just love to watch I guess. We love having you at dinner with us now...even if it is sitting on top of the table in your Bumbo. ;) You will be in your high chair eating real food very soon!
Yesterday Hallie met her babysitter, Mindy, for the second time. The first time doesn't count for much because she was still sleeping almost all day at that point. Mindy held her and talked to her. Hallie smiled at her several times which made me feel more at ease. The "big kids" Kyra and Bailey were taking a nap while we were there which kinda dissappointed me...I wanted to see how Hallie responded to them...and how they responded to a new baby. I got the low down on what to bring and leave at daycare and we talked about my work schedule. We said goodbye so Mindy could get in a few more minutes of quiet time before the big kids woke up from their nap. Tomorrow will be a pretty tough day, but Thursday and Friday Hallie will be staying at home with Nanny. So we will get to experience half of a week which I think is good to get started with.
Send up an extra prayer for Riley and I tomorrow...specifically pray that I can make it through a 9 hour day without crying my eyes out at each thought of her. My goal is to cry less than 50% of the day. ;)
Hallie's Corner
Today is my 12 week birthday. Mom tells me this is the only time in my life when I will get to celebrate and tell people it's my birthday by the week. After awhile, people start counting by months. And then it's just once a year!!!!!!!! How boring is that? I guess it would sound kinda funny if I told someone it was my 213th week birthday though.
I met Miss Mindy yesterday. I guess she's my new mommy during the daytime. But only on Monday through Wednesday and then my Nanny becomes my mommy on Thursday and Friday. I am so confused. Mindy was a very nice lady...she patted and rubbed my back and talked to me and made me smile. Mom and I packed up my diapers, clothes, and blankets in my "daycare bag" so that I will be ready to go in the morning. I have to get out of bed at 5 a.m. from now on...but that's no problem at all because I've got that mastered. I have slept through the night five nights in a row. Yesterday daddy got home early and we had a great time just catching up with eachother....here we are discussing the political candidates. I am not old enough to vote yet, but you can never be too informed...
"I see your point dad, but have you heard anything about his voting record?!"
We also had a big talk about daycare. Mom and dad tried to convince me that they still love me tons even though they will both be leaving me all day long. Something about having to pay student loans and a mortgage...yeah, yeah, I've heard it all. I have come to terms with it though...I know they love me to pieces, but I do plan to give them a hard time! Wish me luck as I am the "new kid on the block" at the babysitter. Hopefully the other kids will like me. ;) That means dad better stop parting my hair to the side like a boy...
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