Well, where do I start with this one? I am almost too exhausted to answer my own question.
It’s been a long few days. Long and tedious. When I use to word tedious it makes me think of a task such as searching for a needle in a haystack. Well let me compare that to entertaining a 6 month old who is having trouble breathing and scared and stuck inside of an ill-fitting bubble. Lets go back all the way to Sunday to begin this lovely and at some points terrifying journey….
It’s been a long few days. Long and tedious. When I use to word tedious it makes me think of a task such as searching for a needle in a haystack. Well let me compare that to entertaining a 6 month old who is having trouble breathing and scared and stuck inside of an ill-fitting bubble. Lets go back all the way to Sunday to begin this lovely and at some points terrifying journey….
Super Bowl Sunday. My parents just couldn’t resist coming to visit their Hallie…I guess they couldn’t imagine going another week without seeing their favorite (and only) grandbaby. They made the trip over to our new digs and spent the afternoon entertaining a sick and down in the dumps baby. The mission: to get Hallie smiling again. We somewhat succeeding at this. But while we were trying to accomplish our mission, we seemed to overlook one crucial aspect of the situation. My mother, immunocompromised and all, was playing with my sick daughter all day long. The bionic woman who has sworn on the Bible to stay away from sick people so as to avoid getting sick herself. Yep. We all three get a big fat F for following the rules.
Riley left for Ponca City that afternoon for work the next day at the hospital there. After they left that evening, Hallie’s cough started to get worse after we took a quick trip over to visit Nanny, Papa, Aunt Kylie and Uncle Bret to enjoy some Super Bowl halftime snacks. This actually turned into me making a quick trip sans Hallie to Walmart to pick up a humidifier for her room. By the time we got home I figured Hallie would pass smooth out but that was not the case. She was all out of whack and feeling like crud so we played and played until she was exhausted around 8:45. I was prepared for what I assumed would be a very long and heart-breaking night of coughing fits and crying. But the sick little angel proved me wrong. She slept straight through the night….the best 9 hours of sleep I’ve gotten in a long time! I thought this was a good sign as far as her sickness but again, she proved me wrong. She’s getting really good at that already at such a young age. I think Emmi was probably the only one who enjoyed the end to Super Bowl Sunday thanks to the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet....
Riley left for Ponca City that afternoon for work the next day at the hospital there. After they left that evening, Hallie’s cough started to get worse after we took a quick trip over to visit Nanny, Papa, Aunt Kylie and Uncle Bret to enjoy some Super Bowl halftime snacks. This actually turned into me making a quick trip sans Hallie to Walmart to pick up a humidifier for her room. By the time we got home I figured Hallie would pass smooth out but that was not the case. She was all out of whack and feeling like crud so we played and played until she was exhausted around 8:45. I was prepared for what I assumed would be a very long and heart-breaking night of coughing fits and crying. But the sick little angel proved me wrong. She slept straight through the night….the best 9 hours of sleep I’ve gotten in a long time! I thought this was a good sign as far as her sickness but again, she proved me wrong. She’s getting really good at that already at such a young age. I think Emmi was probably the only one who enjoyed the end to Super Bowl Sunday thanks to the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet....
Monday morning was supposed to be daycare day. Although out of six daycare days in the past two weeks she has only been twice. There is a whole ‘nother story there but that it neither here nor there….maybe I will tackle that topic in a later blog. J So anywho, we woke up and did our normal morning routine and made our way from the bathtub to the changing table and I thought I’d just take a sec to check her temp…sure enough, she was running a very low grade fever. That meant no daycare. Trust me, I was not heart broken by this in the least. To Nanny’s we went…thank goodness for her!! Nanny is like a doctor…always on call. But unlike doctors who probably don’t enjoy the early morning phone calls, Nanny is thrilled to get her girl for the day. I spent the morning calling doctor’s offices in town to make an appointment. RATS!!! We couldn’t get in until Tuesday with Dr “Jan.” Not sure how to pronounce her last name so she is Dr. Jan. Monday was cut pretty short so that I could pick up my girl by the time Nanny left for work. Hallie seemed to be feeling better as the day went on but once the clock struck six she went downhill from there.
That dang nighttime just does her in. Another kink in the chain: I got word that my grandma was taken to the ER and admitted for weakness and difficulty breathing. Not good news at all. Especially for a worry wart like me right before bed. Despite being consumed with worry I fell asleep by some convincing by Riley. I think his words were “everything is going to be alright.”
:(
That dang nighttime just does her in. Another kink in the chain: I got word that my grandma was taken to the ER and admitted for weakness and difficulty breathing. Not good news at all. Especially for a worry wart like me right before bed. Despite being consumed with worry I fell asleep by some convincing by Riley. I think his words were “everything is going to be alright.”
We woke up to a very happy and spunky girl. Thank goodness I kept saying to myself! I rushed her to Nanny’s and rushed even faster to get my two patients seen before the storm arrived.
The snow was blowing by the time we arrived at the doctor’s office. I was feeling very anxious and nervous about what we would find out. In the back of my mind was always the “H” word. But despite being fearful of this, I was also optimistic because of her happy demeanor. After waiting for nearly 90 minutes and struggling to keep her entertained, Dr. Jan finally came in. After a quick exam and a breathing treatment, we were looking as a hospital stay. Boo. Hiss.
"We don't have to go to the doctor...see, I'm fine!"
The snow was blowing by the time we arrived at the doctor’s office. I was feeling very anxious and nervous about what we would find out. In the back of my mind was always the “H” word. But despite being fearful of this, I was also optimistic because of her happy demeanor. After waiting for nearly 90 minutes and struggling to keep her entertained, Dr. Jan finally came in. After a quick exam and a breathing treatment, we were looking as a hospital stay. Boo. Hiss.
I think this is when she realized she wasn't so fine
But still spunky enough to play with daddy
Across the street we went to the hospital to be admitted. Nothing could have prepared me for the fear and frustration of admitting a baby and getting her set up in a room. What stressed me out the most? I would say it was a combination of my baby’s sad cries, her constant wheezing that was getting worse with each breathe, the five people surrounding her and poking and prodding as she was struggling to catch her breath from crying so hard, or the fact that a huge winter storm was on its way in to town, or that I had no idea what exactly was causing Hallie to have such a hard time breathing. First order of business was to get a crib set up in her room with a croup tent over the crib. This was no easy task for the nurses because the tent was too small to fit over the crib which left it hanging in Hallie’s face. Not a happy baby.
After Hallie was set up and ready to camp out in her tent, I decided to make a quick trip home to grab some essentials. On my way to the house I decided to call my parents to let them know about Hallie. Little did I know, my mom was on her way to OKC to be admitted to the hospital for nausea, vomiting and swelling in her legs and belly. Her ever present savior Aunt Lana was taking her to the ER in OKC. So let’s recap….my worry-meter was at about a 10 at this point….now I have skyrocketed off the meter to a 20!!!!!! Breathe, breathe, breathe. I’ve had plenty of practice being worried about my momma…but no practice being worried about the ladies in my life ALL AT ONCE!!!
Setting up the croup tent...or trying to at least
"So this is what jail feels like. When do I get my one phone call?"
After Hallie was set up and ready to camp out in her tent, I decided to make a quick trip home to grab some essentials. On my way to the house I decided to call my parents to let them know about Hallie. Little did I know, my mom was on her way to OKC to be admitted to the hospital for nausea, vomiting and swelling in her legs and belly. Her ever present savior Aunt Lana was taking her to the ER in OKC. So let’s recap….my worry-meter was at about a 10 at this point….now I have skyrocketed off the meter to a 20!!!!!! Breathe, breathe, breathe. I’ve had plenty of practice being worried about my momma…but no practice being worried about the ladies in my life ALL AT ONCE!!!
At this point I turned into “momma on a mission.” The mission: to get my family well again. I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this since all three of my ladies were in different hospitals and only God could heal them. But I was doing my part: praying. Like crazy. When I arrived back at the hospital it was a completely different scene. Next thing on the list was xray, lab, and nose swab. While she was going through all of that, I was answering a hundred questions with a heartbreaking soundtrack of my baby screaming in the background. She was very unhappy during her first breathing treatment. After about ten minutes of constant hard crying we finally got her to calm down and fall asleep. Finally. Some peace of mind. NOT SO FAST PARENTS! “You want to move our baby to ICU why?” Apparently they had received the xray results and were taking precautions based on what the radiologist had seen. We weren’t aware of why she was being transferred. Riley and I were both confused about why it was necessary to move her but we went along for the ride holding my sweet sleeping girl on my chest as she remained peacefully unaware. When we got in the ICU our nurse finally clued me in as to why we were moving. Talk about terrifying. She basically told us that Hallie's airway could be closing off. So of course I asked what they would do in that case. Her answer: "emergency surgery." EXCUSE ME?? When did this happen? How did this happen? Thankfully the doctor arrived shortly after to explain the quick move.
Apparently the radiologist had diagnosed her with epiglotitis: imflammation of the epiglottis (the tiny flap over the airway). After thirty seconds of straight up terror, the doctor assured us that this was not what she had going on. She thinks the xray was not good quality due to the position Hallie was in. Her blood count was normal and she had no fever so we were in the clear as far as that was concerned. She tested positive for RSV and was experiencing stridor (a wheezing due to narrowing of the airway). Although the blood count came back good the doc wanted to keep her in ICU to have more care. Finally I was resting at ease. My baby was going to be ok. But I still had no idea about the status of my mom and grandma at this point. After a while I found out that Grandma's status was better: she had pneumonia and weakness from not getting up all week at home and not eating well or staying hydrated. As I waited to hear about what was causing my mom's troubles, I had some wonderful help from Aunt Katie and Aunt Sharon in the entertaining Hallie department while I gathered my thoughts.
Finally some peace in my bubble
Probably the only moment where she actually looked sick
Apparently the radiologist had diagnosed her with epiglotitis: imflammation of the epiglottis (the tiny flap over the airway). After thirty seconds of straight up terror, the doctor assured us that this was not what she had going on. She thinks the xray was not good quality due to the position Hallie was in. Her blood count was normal and she had no fever so we were in the clear as far as that was concerned. She tested positive for RSV and was experiencing stridor (a wheezing due to narrowing of the airway). Although the blood count came back good the doc wanted to keep her in ICU to have more care. Finally I was resting at ease. My baby was going to be ok. But I still had no idea about the status of my mom and grandma at this point. After a while I found out that Grandma's status was better: she had pneumonia and weakness from not getting up all week at home and not eating well or staying hydrated. As I waited to hear about what was causing my mom's troubles, I had some wonderful help from Aunt Katie and Aunt Sharon in the entertaining Hallie department while I gathered my thoughts.
"At least there are toys here."
Sad faces all around
We settled in for a long night. Hallie was actually doing much better after a couple breathing treatments that evening. Still a lot of wheezing and coughing. After the side effects of the albuterol wore off, our wired,crazy girl finally gave in to sleep and passed out on my chest. Lights were out, she was sleeping peacefully, and it was time for bed. Or was it??? Riley didn't seem to think so because he headed down the hallway to his office. I guess he enjoyed the quiet time to get work done because he didn't return to the room until 1 a.m. He found me there still wide awake. Sleep just didn't happen for both of us that night with me on the cardboard bed and him in the tiny recliner. We woke up to 15' of snow on the ground. Yowza!!!!! Looks like we were stuck there for the day whether Hallie was released or not.....
Murphy's law: no matter what time, no matter how hard you just tried to get your child to sleep, the nurse or respiratory therapist WILL in fact walk in two seconds after you lay the child down. And they WILL wake them up and you WILL be up for another hour putting them back to sleep. ;)
Wednesday passed much too slowly. A day full of Einstein, breathing treatments, holding Hallie hostage in her tent with her giving me the sad "get me outta here" eyes all day. I have to be honest, I probably should have put my foot down and made her stay in the croup tent more during the day but that's what dad was for. The enforcer. I couldn't take those sad eyes.
Oh and I didn't mention that baby turned to an icicle once she stayed in the tent for longer than an hour.
Dr. Jan wasn't able to make it over to do rounds until after 5 and by that time I had started packing up our belongings in hopes that we were headed home. I was about 95% sure she would release Hallie. Nah. But we were moving from the ICU to a bigger room. She had a tough time getting calmed down that night thanks to an upset tummy. But Aunt Katie to the rescue. She rubbed her belly and rocked her to sleep...
Everytime she would cough that night we would just look at eachother as if to say "there is no way we are staying here one more day!!!" Luckily, we survived one last night in the hospital and found out Hallie was well enough to head home the next morning. We will be giving breathing treatments at home now twice a day and we have such a good helper to lend a hand...or two....
This is where Riley became super dad and stayed with Hallie while they waited for discharge papers to be written up while I suited up in my scrubs and headed out to brave the streets and go to work. I was having so much anxiety not just about my girls being in the hospital, but also the fact that everyday since I started my job there has been something making it difficult to finish a full day. That day I happened to have a very full day scheduled so I was so thankful that Riley could take the morning off and get her settled at Nanny's. After taking a couple pharmacy trips Riley and Nanny gave Hallie her first breathing treatment and Riley was off to work. Kind of. This is the part where I got in trouble. My phone had gone dead and I had the keys to the house and the garage door opener. Oops. So Riley had to climb through snow drifts to crawl in Hallie's window. Sheesh!
So I must add that Riley and I were very impressed with the care Hallie received at the hospital here. I definitely think he can say he is proud to work there...wonderful nurses and always so helpful. The food sucks...but what hospital food doesn't. We give Hallie's stay a 10! (and I'm not just saying this because he works there, lol)
"What the heck ma?"
"Just checkin' my bank account and email...I feel so disconnected from the world"
Cutest. Thing. Ever. Baby. Hospital. Gowns. Enough. Said.......
Confession: I snuck one home with us. Future dress up material.
Oh and I didn't mention that baby turned to an icicle once she stayed in the tent for longer than an hour.
"Could someone please adjust the thermostat inside that bubble?"
Hallie definitely is a cuddle bug when she doesn't feel good and I took full advantage of it! She's normally too busy to cuddle!
"Sometimes ya just need a good cuddle"
Love it when she falls asleep on my chest <3
A very good majority of the day was spent keeping a log of Hallie's "in and outs." This would normally be a very easy task but I think the steroids were getting to her because she was eating very thirty minutes and peeing even more often! The nurses had to weigh each diaper which left us with a huge graveyard of dirty diapers in the corner of the room. Yuck!
Fun stuff
The most entertaining part of the day was watching her take breathing treatments. We weren't ever sure if she was going to use the tube as a flute or try to suck on it or better yet cry and wail the entire time!
"Am I doing alright breathing treatment dude?"
Dr. Jan wasn't able to make it over to do rounds until after 5 and by that time I had started packing up our belongings in hopes that we were headed home. I was about 95% sure she would release Hallie. Nah. But we were moving from the ICU to a bigger room. She had a tough time getting calmed down that night thanks to an upset tummy. But Aunt Katie to the rescue. She rubbed her belly and rocked her to sleep...
Sweet Aunt Katie
Goodnight. See ya in about 30 seconds for meds and then another 30 minutes after that for breathing treatment. Don't get too comfy. :)
Everytime she would cough that night we would just look at eachother as if to say "there is no way we are staying here one more day!!!" Luckily, we survived one last night in the hospital and found out Hallie was well enough to head home the next morning. We will be giving breathing treatments at home now twice a day and we have such a good helper to lend a hand...or two....
Silly girl
Dr. Dad
This is where Riley became super dad and stayed with Hallie while they waited for discharge papers to be written up while I suited up in my scrubs and headed out to brave the streets and go to work. I was having so much anxiety not just about my girls being in the hospital, but also the fact that everyday since I started my job there has been something making it difficult to finish a full day. That day I happened to have a very full day scheduled so I was so thankful that Riley could take the morning off and get her settled at Nanny's. After taking a couple pharmacy trips Riley and Nanny gave Hallie her first breathing treatment and Riley was off to work. Kind of. This is the part where I got in trouble. My phone had gone dead and I had the keys to the house and the garage door opener. Oops. So Riley had to climb through snow drifts to crawl in Hallie's window. Sheesh!
So I must add that Riley and I were very impressed with the care Hallie received at the hospital here. I definitely think he can say he is proud to work there...wonderful nurses and always so helpful. The food sucks...but what hospital food doesn't. We give Hallie's stay a 10! (and I'm not just saying this because he works there, lol)
I find myself sitting here at 5 am and typing this blog and my never-ending thoughts mainly because Hallie has been screaming since 4 am and after multiple attempts to calm her down to sleep I have given up. Riley is sound asleep in the other room which only makes me slightly jealous. While Hallie is calmed by Einstein and mommy time, I am sitting here with a mind that won't stop racing. I long for the days of normalcy when I could come home to my "home" and relax, take my baby across the street to a wonderful daycare, visit my mom and keep her company while she was in the hospital, and enjoy a job that was steady and predictable. All along I have been asking God to show me a sign or signs that moving was the right decision. Part of me has wondered if all of this chaos is a sign. But I really don't think it is. I think this is just one of those rough patches in life. This too shall pass.....I just hope it's real soon.
One by one, my girls are leaving the hospital. Hallie is home, my mom will most likely be home tomorrow, but my grandma will be the last to come home. Let's pray that it is sooner rather than later! Please pray for her as she is battling pneumonia and a new diagnosis of atrial fibrillation. She has also become so weak that picking up a spoon and bringing it to her mouth is now a difficult task. This is definitely not something I can even picture in my head because she has always been able to do most everything she needed to do. I'm hoping to break away and go visit her tonight. She needs strength and time to heal and I know that God will provide her with that! Thank you for your prayers as we have gone through this eventful week...keep them coming though...Grammy seems to be making a habit out of this hospital business. As for Hallie, this is the the last view that the hospital is ever gonna see....her backside as she's crawlin' away........
One by one, my girls are leaving the hospital. Hallie is home, my mom will most likely be home tomorrow, but my grandma will be the last to come home. Let's pray that it is sooner rather than later! Please pray for her as she is battling pneumonia and a new diagnosis of atrial fibrillation. She has also become so weak that picking up a spoon and bringing it to her mouth is now a difficult task. This is definitely not something I can even picture in my head because she has always been able to do most everything she needed to do. I'm hoping to break away and go visit her tonight. She needs strength and time to heal and I know that God will provide her with that! Thank you for your prayers as we have gone through this eventful week...keep them coming though...Grammy seems to be making a habit out of this hospital business. As for Hallie, this is the the last view that the hospital is ever gonna see....her backside as she's crawlin' away........
"Peace out"
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