The Bubble Baby

Well, where do I start with this one? I am almost too exhausted to answer my own question.

It’s been a long few days. Long and tedious. When I use to word tedious it makes me think of a task such as searching for a needle in a haystack. Well let me compare that to entertaining a 6 month old who is having trouble breathing and scared and stuck inside of an ill-fitting bubble. Lets go back all the way to Sunday to begin this lovely and at some points terrifying journey….

Super Bowl Sunday. My parents just couldn’t resist coming to visit their Hallie…I guess they couldn’t imagine going another week without seeing their favorite (and only) grandbaby. They made the trip over to our new digs and spent the afternoon entertaining a sick and down in the dumps baby. The mission: to get Hallie smiling again. We somewhat succeeding at this. But while we were trying to accomplish our mission, we seemed to overlook one crucial aspect of the situation. My mother, immunocompromised and all, was playing with my sick daughter all day long. The bionic woman who has sworn on the Bible to stay away from sick people so as to avoid getting sick herself. Yep. We all three get a big fat F for following the rules.

Riley left for Ponca City that afternoon for work the next day at the hospital there. After they left that evening, Hallie’s cough started to get worse after we took a quick trip over to visit Nanny, Papa, Aunt Kylie and Uncle Bret to enjoy some Super Bowl halftime snacks. This actually turned into me making a quick trip sans Hallie to Walmart to pick up a humidifier for her room. By the time we got home I figured Hallie would pass smooth out but that was not the case. She was all out of whack and feeling like crud so we played and played until she was exhausted around 8:45. I was prepared for what I assumed would be a very long and heart-breaking night of coughing fits and crying. But the sick little angel proved me wrong. She slept straight through the night….the best 9 hours of sleep I’ve gotten in a long time! I thought this was a good sign as far as her sickness but again, she proved me wrong. She’s getting really good at that already at such a young age. I think Emmi was probably the only one who enjoyed the end to Super Bowl Sunday thanks to the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet....

Monday morning was supposed to be daycare day. Although out of six daycare days in the past two weeks she has only been twice. There is a whole ‘nother story there but that it neither here nor there….maybe I will tackle that topic in a later blog. J So anywho, we woke up and did our normal morning routine and made our way from the bathtub to the changing table and I thought I’d just take a sec to check her temp…sure enough, she was running a very low grade fever. That meant no daycare. Trust me, I was not heart broken by this in the least. To Nanny’s we went…thank goodness for her!!  Nanny is like a doctor…always on call. But unlike doctors who probably don’t enjoy the early morning phone calls, Nanny is thrilled to get her girl for the day. I spent the morning calling doctor’s offices in town to make an appointment. RATS!!! We couldn’t get in until Tuesday with Dr “Jan.”  Not sure how to pronounce her last name so she is Dr. Jan. Monday was cut pretty short so that I could pick up my girl by the time Nanny left for work. Hallie seemed to be feeling better as the day went on but once the clock struck six she went downhill from there.

:(

That dang nighttime just does her in. Another kink in the chain: I got word that my grandma was taken to the ER and admitted for weakness and difficulty breathing. Not good news at all. Especially for a worry wart like me right before bed. Despite being consumed with worry I fell asleep by some convincing by Riley. I think his words were “everything is going to be alright.”

We woke up to a very happy and spunky girl. Thank goodness I kept saying to myself! I rushed her to Nanny’s and rushed even faster to get my two patients seen before the storm arrived.

"We don't have to go to the doctor...see, I'm fine!"

The snow was blowing by the time we arrived at the doctor’s office. I was feeling very anxious and nervous about what we would find out. In the back of my mind was always the “H” word. But despite being fearful of this, I was also optimistic because of her happy demeanor. After waiting for nearly 90 minutes and struggling to keep her entertained, Dr. Jan finally came in. After a quick exam and a breathing treatment, we were looking as a hospital stay. Boo. Hiss.

I think this is when she realized she wasn't so fine

But still spunky enough to play with daddy

Across the street we went to the hospital to be admitted. Nothing could have prepared me for the fear and frustration of admitting a baby and getting her set up in a room. What stressed me out the most? I would say it was a combination of my baby’s sad cries, her constant wheezing that was getting worse with each breathe, the five people surrounding her and poking and prodding as she was struggling to catch her breath from crying so hard, or the fact that a huge winter storm was on its way in to town, or that I had no idea what exactly was causing Hallie to have such a hard time breathing. First order of business was to get a crib set up in her room with a croup tent over the crib. This was no easy task for the nurses because the tent was too small to fit over the crib which left it hanging in Hallie’s face. Not a happy baby.

Setting up the croup tent...or trying to at least

"So this is what jail feels like. When do I get my one phone call?"

After Hallie was set up and ready to camp out in her tent, I decided to make a quick trip home to grab some essentials. On my way to the house I decided to call my parents to let them know about Hallie. Little did I know, my mom was on her way to OKC to be admitted to the hospital for nausea, vomiting and swelling in her legs and belly. Her ever present savior Aunt Lana was taking her to the ER in OKC. So let’s recap….my worry-meter was at about a 10 at this point….now I have skyrocketed off the meter to a 20!!!!!! Breathe, breathe, breathe. I’ve had plenty of practice being worried about my momma…but no practice being worried about the ladies in my life ALL AT ONCE!!!

At this point I turned into “momma on a mission.” The mission: to get my family well again. I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this since all three of my ladies were in different hospitals and only God could heal them. But I was doing my part: praying. Like crazy. When I arrived back at the hospital it was a completely different scene. Next thing on the list was xray, lab, and nose swab. While she was going through all of that, I was answering a hundred questions with a heartbreaking soundtrack of my baby screaming in the background. She was very unhappy during her first breathing treatment. After about ten minutes of constant hard crying we finally got her to calm down and fall asleep. Finally. Some peace of mind. NOT SO FAST PARENTS! “You want to move our baby to ICU why?” Apparently they had received the xray results and were taking precautions based on what the radiologist had seen. We weren’t aware of why she was being transferred. Riley and I were both confused about why it was necessary to move her but we went along for the ride holding my sweet sleeping girl on my chest as she remained peacefully unaware. When we got in the ICU our nurse finally clued me in as to why we were moving. Talk about terrifying. She basically told us that Hallie's airway could be closing off. So of course I asked what they would do in that case. Her answer: "emergency surgery." EXCUSE ME?? When did this happen? How did this happen? Thankfully the doctor arrived shortly after to explain the quick move.

Finally some peace in my bubble

Probably the only moment where she actually looked sick

Apparently the radiologist had diagnosed her with epiglotitis: imflammation of the epiglottis (the tiny flap over the airway). After thirty seconds of straight up terror, the doctor assured us that this was not what she had going on. She thinks the xray was not good quality due to the position Hallie was in. Her blood count was normal and she had no fever so we were in the clear as far as that was concerned. She tested positive for RSV and was experiencing stridor (a wheezing due to narrowing of the airway). Although the blood count came back good the doc wanted to keep her in ICU to have more care.  Finally I was resting at ease. My baby was going to be ok. But I still had no idea about the status of my mom and grandma at this point. After a while I found out that Grandma's status was better: she had pneumonia and weakness from not getting up all week at home and not eating well or staying hydrated. As I waited to hear about what was causing my mom's troubles, I had some wonderful help from Aunt Katie and Aunt Sharon in the entertaining Hallie department while I gathered my thoughts.

"At least there are toys here."

Sad faces all around

We settled in for a long night. Hallie was actually doing much better after a couple breathing treatments that evening. Still a lot of wheezing and coughing. After the side effects of the albuterol wore off, our wired,crazy girl finally gave in to sleep and passed out on my chest. Lights were out, she was sleeping peacefully, and it was time for bed. Or was it??? Riley didn't seem to think so because he headed down the hallway to his office. I guess he enjoyed the quiet time to get work done because he didn't return to the room until 1 a.m. He found me there still wide awake. Sleep just didn't happen for both of us that night with me on the cardboard bed and him in the tiny recliner. We woke up to 15' of snow on the ground. Yowza!!!!! Looks like we were stuck there for the day whether Hallie was released or not.....

Murphy's law: no matter what time, no matter how hard you just tried to get your child to sleep, the nurse or respiratory therapist WILL in fact walk in two seconds after you lay the child down. And they WILL wake them up and you WILL be up for another hour putting them back to sleep. ;)

Wednesday passed much too slowly. A day full of Einstein, breathing treatments, holding Hallie hostage in her tent with her giving me the sad "get me outta here" eyes all day. I have to be honest, I probably should have put my foot down and made her stay in the croup tent more during the day but that's what dad was for. The enforcer. I couldn't take those sad eyes.

"What the heck ma?"

"Just checkin' my bank account and email...I feel so disconnected from the world"

Cutest. Thing. Ever. Baby. Hospital. Gowns. Enough. Said.......

Confession: I snuck one home with us. Future dress up material.

Oh and I didn't mention that baby turned to an icicle once she stayed in the tent for longer than an hour.

"Could someone please adjust the thermostat inside that bubble?"

Hallie definitely is a cuddle bug when she doesn't feel good and I took full advantage of it! She's normally too busy to cuddle!

"Sometimes ya just need a good cuddle"

Love it when she falls asleep on my chest <3

A very good majority of the day was spent keeping a log of Hallie's "in and outs." This would normally be a very easy task but I think the steroids were getting to her because she was eating very thirty minutes and peeing even more often! The nurses had to weigh each diaper which left us with a huge graveyard of dirty diapers in the corner of the room. Yuck!

Fun stuff

The most entertaining part of the day was watching her take breathing treatments. We weren't ever sure if she was going to use the tube as a flute or try to suck on it or better yet cry and wail the entire time!

"Am I doing alright breathing treatment dude?"

Dr. Jan wasn't able to make it over to do rounds until after 5 and by that time I had started packing up our belongings in hopes that we were headed home. I was about 95% sure she would release Hallie. Nah. But we were moving from the ICU to a bigger room. She had a tough time getting calmed down that night thanks to an upset tummy. But Aunt Katie to the rescue. She rubbed her belly and rocked her to sleep...

Sweet Aunt Katie

Goodnight. See ya in about 30 seconds for meds and then another 30 minutes after that for breathing treatment. Don't get too comfy. :)

Everytime she would cough that night we would just look at eachother as if to say "there is no way we are staying here one more day!!!" Luckily, we survived one last night in the hospital and found out Hallie was well enough to head home the next morning. We will be giving breathing treatments at home now twice a day and we have such a good helper to lend a hand...or two....

Silly girl

Dr. Dad

This is where Riley became super dad and stayed with Hallie while they waited for discharge papers to be written up while I suited up in my scrubs and headed out to brave the streets and go to work. I was having so much anxiety not just about my girls being in the hospital, but also the fact that everyday since I started my job there has been something making it difficult to finish a full day. That day I happened to have a very full day scheduled so I was so thankful that Riley could take the morning off and get her settled at Nanny's. After taking a couple pharmacy trips Riley and Nanny gave Hallie her first breathing treatment and Riley was off to work. Kind of. This is the part where I got in trouble. My phone had gone dead and I had the keys to the house and the garage door opener. Oops. So Riley had to climb through snow drifts to crawl in Hallie's window. Sheesh!

So I must add that Riley and I were very impressed with the care Hallie received at the hospital here. I definitely think he can say he is proud to work there...wonderful nurses and always so helpful. The food sucks...but what hospital food doesn't. We give Hallie's stay a 10! (and I'm not just saying this because he works there, lol)

I find myself sitting here at 5 am and typing this blog and my never-ending thoughts mainly because Hallie has been screaming since 4 am and after multiple attempts to calm her down to sleep I have given up. Riley is sound asleep in the other room which only makes me slightly jealous. While Hallie is calmed by Einstein and mommy time, I am sitting here with a mind that won't stop racing.  I long for the days of normalcy when I could come home to my "home" and relax, take my baby across the street to a wonderful daycare, visit my mom and keep her company while she was in the hospital, and enjoy a job that was steady and predictable. All along I have been asking God to show me a sign or signs that moving was the right decision.  Part of me has wondered if all of this chaos is a sign. But I really don't think it is. I think this is just one of those rough patches in life. This too shall pass.....I just hope it's real soon.

One by one, my girls are leaving the hospital. Hallie is home, my mom will most likely be home tomorrow, but my grandma will be the last to come home. Let's pray that it is sooner rather than later! Please pray for her as she is battling pneumonia and a new diagnosis of atrial fibrillation. She has also become so weak that picking up a spoon and bringing it to her mouth is now a difficult task. This is definitely not something I can even picture in my head because she has always been able to do most everything she needed to do. I'm hoping to break away and go visit her tonight. She needs strength and time to heal and I know that God will provide her with that! Thank you for your prayers as we have gone through this eventful week...keep them coming though...Grammy seems to be making a habit out of this hospital business. As for Hallie, this is the the last view that the hospital is ever gonna see....her backside as she's crawlin' away........

"Peace out"

I'll Stick with Rollin'

A couple days ago mom and I started logging some hours of pulling up and standing practice. Our main obstacle.....my chubby legs. Legs so chubby they are hard to bend. But with a little help from momma I managed to get in position. A very awkward position........

"Are you sure we have to practice this?"

It was such hard work I couldn't help but get distracted easily....

"Ah what a soft chair."

So my question is...what the heck am I supposed to do once I get up here? Just stare around and look at my toys?

I'm about as steady as a 400 lb man on stilts! So what happens when I fall?

"Whoa, it's a long way down there."

Momma, I'm just a rollin' stone. I belong on the floor!

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

We are sans smiles in the Fanning house this weekend. But not for lack of trying. :( We just have one sick baby on our hands. The eyes say it all. Her sad eyes have got to go...they are just breaking our hearts. Put that together with the most awful whine/cry (imagine the sound of a wounded animal) plus wheezing and nobody is smiling. Leave it to Baby Einstein though....she hadn't been doing much of her regular activities just because she's so out of sync but I just started up her DVD before bedtime and viola....that silly caterpillar squirmed onto the screen and my angel gave the tv a big ol' smile....

We have missed that sweet grin. If hugs could heal her then she would be fine and dandy. The sweet girl even got a pass to sleep with mom and dad last night. As if the family didn't love on her enough, but now she gets extra love! Lots and lots and lots of cuddling and naps on mommy's lap. Oh yeah and plenty of nakey time too....

I'm sure it's just the paranoid new parent in me but it just seems that she is getting worse. Perfect timing considering we don't have a doc out this way yet. And Riley is out of town. My gut is telling me that I should just take her back to OKC to Dr. McDreamy one last time....she has an appointment with him on the 15th anyway for her 6 month checkup and vaccinations and I'm thinking maybe we can just do her 6 month checkup if I have to take her this week. This is assuming that the good pediatricians here in town aren't taking new patients...which is also what my gut is telling me. :(

Bottom line....we want our smiley baby back and we need a good doc to help us with that! She is still pulling at her right ear sporting these red cheeks. No fever at all. Thank goodness!!! I plan to start calling around to docs in the morning and pray that one of them is taking new patients. If not I may just go all "crazy mom" on them.........

Please say a prayer for our Hal gal that she is not developing RSV or pneumonia and that her cough and wheezing will go away!

Splish, Splash....I TOOK A BIG GIRL BATH!

Hallie here. Mom has been trying very hard to keep me entertained this morning.....I think she just feels sorry for me because I don't feel good. I woke up with a cough today. Bummer. And I can't seem to get rid of this runny nose and these sad eyes of mine. So mom played, played played with me to get my mind off of things. When it was time to take a bath this morning she just plopped me in the tub. The big girl tub that is. I really didn't even know how to function in that massive space. I just sat there leaning over like a hunch back so that I wouldn't lose my balance. That place is slippery! But with a little help from momma and some fun toys I learned to sit up tall and took a big girl bath. Crabs and fishies were swarming around me and it really creeped me out for awhile. But I soon realized they were friendly marine animals. This bath thing came at a good time because I was really running out of room in my baby bath. I looked like a crumpled up pile of rolls in that silly baby tub!

So what am I supposed to do in here?

We're already moving to a shower?? Mom, that's a little fast!

Everyday's a Snow Day When You're a Baby

Looks like we left central Oklahoma just in time. We managed to avoid the actual blizzard conditions that the beginning of this week brought to most areas of the state. No blizzard here...just temperatures cold enough to freeze your brain. And make a baby sick. Yes, after all of my bragging about a healthy babe, she has succumbed to the inevitable. Boo. Sad face. Tear. We took her to the doctor Thursday to figure out what was causing the crankiness, runny nose, and ear pulling. Now this is where we realized one of the awesome perks of Riley's job....he made us our own appointment at one of the doctor's clinics that he manages. Score!! So Hallie met her daddy at his office and all three of us waited for the doc. Hallie realized that offices are for doing business and so that's just what she did....her "business". And stunk up daddy's office. Hallie's crankiness and restlessness was escalating as the minutes ticked by. That girl took squirmy to a whole new level! She made sure to leave a path of destruction behind......

Riley and I found out that taking a cranky baby to a new doc for the first visit is definitely a two person job. Between the fits of restlessness she did manage to break my heart with these sad eyes.....

I hate to say it but I think Hallie is just as dramatic as her momma. She was milking all of the attention she was getting by being very high maintenance....

"Thank you father...my arms are much too weak right now to hold that big bottle."

 She didn't fool us for long...because soon she was back to ripping paper and doing pushups on the exam table...

"Hurry up and write me a script doc...I've got some nappin' to do at home"

The doc sent us home with a prescription for an antibiotic to treat what looked like the beginning of an ear infection. We also discovered that she has some eczema...we are definitely going to have to double up on the lotion to battle her dry skin in this cold weather. And speaking of cold weather....OMGoodness I am so over winter!!! I am so over the big patches of ice everywhere. I am so over having to torture Hallie by putting a coat on her. I am so over not being able to take strolls outside. Where are you springtime??? The Fannings are ready for you!

In other news lately.......................................

Happy Birthday Nanny! Tuesday night we celebrated Nanny's birthday with pizza and cake....Papa Bill, Aunt Katie and our friend Kelly and her two daughters were there. And oddly enough, all of Nanny's birthday presents doubled as Hallie presents! She requested a baby jumper for "Nanny's Home Daycare" and got plenty of books to start a nice collection for Hallie and future grandkids. Somehow Aunt Katie always has dinner duty with Hallie...and she always finds someway to occupy her and eat dinner at the same time. Impressive!

Fresh, yummy goodness

The birthday girl with her favorite little lady

Although we haven't had snow days this week like the rest of Oklahoma, Emmi has been cooped up inside and is definitely showing some signs of cabin fever. Most notable...she runs laps like a racehorse when she comes inside from being out in the snow. But all of the snow and ice has made her feel pretty cozy as well.....and she's decided to take naps using Hallie's boppy....

Something strange has happened. All of our children (human and furry creatures alike) have had a change in appetite this week. Hallie has been maintaining her strength with a steady diet of octopus.....

And Emmi satisfied her craving for some cold hard cash....

6 hard-earned dollars we will never get back ;)

We definitely miss the sunshine and 70s that last week brought. Please come back lovely weather! Hallie and I enjoyed our trail walks very much.

Since it has been awhile since my last chatty blog, I have yet to talk about Grammy's latest hospital drama. She went last Friday for an innocent checkup with Dr. Nelson and ended up back in a hospital room. On her cardboard bed. With her cardboard food. Her mission was to lose the 10+ pounds of water weight that she had gained over the past two weeks. And that is just what she did. Most of the time she was in the hospital was actually because she was stuck there. The weather didn't coordinate well with her discharge from the hospital so she finally went home on Wednesday night thanks to my uncle David coming to pick her up. The good news that came out of her hospital stay: probably no need for heart transplant talk like the doc was talking about last week. We made sure to go spend some time with Grammy and Gman last weekend at her second home. Thinking back, Hallie may have been starting to get sick that day because the only thing that made her happy was being naked and laying down on her back. Well, I take that back...everything made her happy when she first arrived...........

Grammy's girl

Grins for Gman

"I've missed you guys!"

Well, I'm back to working momma status. I was getting a little bored being cooped up in the house the previous week and a half. Even though I had plenty to do with unpacking and getting settled and all, I was as restless as Hallie wearing a coat stuck in her carseat. Although work has been a pleasure this week, the personal aspect of life hasn't been in working order. I really don't want to dwell on the drama of daycare so I won't. Back to work. I love my job! This Tuesday I spent getting acquainted with the people I would be working with. Each and every one of them made me feel extremely welcome. Such friendly people out this way! The second half of my first day was spent seeing three patients. I was so ready to get out on my own and get started. I definitely feel like home health is where I fit in the world of physical therapy. The weather was somewhat of an obstacle that day and the frigid temps didn't make getting in and out of the car too enjoyable. BUT I love the flexibility and I love my coworkers already! I will be working for Woodward Home Health as a contract therapist and also doing some outpatient therapy at Northwest Physical Therapy and Sports Rehab with my boss Aaron and friend Matt. Things that I have learned from work this week: 1)This is a very small town. Everybody knows everybody. 2) I need to remember to take my coat off when I get to a smoker's house. 3) Elderly people love weenie dogs. 4) I can in fact function in an outpatient clinic despite not having a lick of experience in one. 5) I have a horrible sense of direction. 6) Murry (my car's name) is an all-star in the snow and ice. 7) I understand why my mom's car always looks like a gypsy mobile by the end of a week of doing home health...my car is now filled with trash, coats, files, pens, and cups. 8) After a week in home health and outpatient, it is evident that I had the most unglamarous of all PT jobs at my previous setting. Incontinence is somewhat a thing of the past. Lol. Overall, I am a very happy therapist right now. I've found my niche! Except I think I knew that all along...I guess I just wanna be like my momma. Bring on week #2!!!

I just asked Riley what he wanted me to say about his job. He shared a lot of great answers with me so here is Riley's mini blog:

"It's going well. I really like it."

There ya go folks. He is full of details! Joking aside, he really is enjoying his job and finally getting everything in order and organized. Each day it seems he deals with something new and challenging which is exactly what he has wanted. His second job is also going well. What is that you ask? Being Hallie's favorite person in the world of course. Daddy ranks #1 for sure!  

It's Friday night and we are finally sitting down and actually RELAXING for once this week. Despicable Me is the movie of choice tonight! I don't even want to take the time to write about all of the hard parts about this week because frankly it makes me want to punch the wall. All that matters right now is that my little family is safe and happy...not so healthy but we are getting there.



No Big Deal

DON'T MIND ME................

I'M JUST STANDIN' AROUND.

P.S. - No, our 6 month old did not pull herself up like that. BUT she did stand there for awhile holding on by herself. I was proud of her big girl moment even if I helped her cheat a little bit!



CrAzY CaRrOtS!

What has gotten into this girl!?!?!?!? 

...........................

CARROTS!

There is no other explanation for her hyperactivity Monday afternoon! The girl will figure out how to get up on all 4s someday soon.....but for now it's a lot of swimming motions followed by a lot of panting. If you listen really, really close I'm sure you can hear her little heart beating and the sound of her panting. Lol. Either she really wants to crawl or she is self-conscious about the size of her thighs. ;)